Everybody has a “Grind”, you know, a talent, job or passion. Some of us have several “Grinds”. Everyone is different. Whatever your Grind is, you can’t expect everyone to understand it the way you do. You can’t expect everyone to be as passionate about your Grind as you are. You can’t expect everyone to understand why you spend countless hours working on it or practicing for it or training to be better at it. It’s your Grind not theirs!

Many of us seek validation from others. We want to know that others around us accept what we are doing and applaud us for doing a good job. This isn’t a bad thing if this validation is coming from someone or a group of people that you trust like a respected family member or mentor but many of us take it too far and allow our friends and family on our social media and within our inner circles to influence what we should or should not be doing.

Odds are, your “friends (and some family)”, have strong limitations in their own minds about what they can and can’t do. Their limitations are expressed in the things that they say and the way that they think. It carries an energy that you can feel when you are around them or when you connect with them socially. You feel judged when you mention your goals to them and feel uncomfortable when you share why you are trying to accomplish the goals you mentioned. You might want to start a business and quit your 9-5 or commit to losing 50 pounds or decide to go back to school to get a degree or plan to run your first marathon. You may hear or read comments like:

“You are wasting your time”

“That’s going to be very hard for you to do”

“I don’t see how you are going to get it done”

“That is a waste of money”

“That sounds great, but why?”

The list goes on….

Again, I don’t think there is anything wrong with seeking wise counsel from those you respect, admire and have a close relationship with (especially if they themselves have done what you are trying to do). In fact, I suggest that you reach out to those you trust when setting new goals for encouragement and accountability. BUT, you should never align yourself to the limitations of others, especially negative people. When you share your goals with others, immediately some of them will consider if they themselves can accomplish the goals you are setting for yourself. If they feel internally that they can’t do it or feel intimidated by what you’re trying to do or accomplish, they may become defensive and conclude that you can’t do it either. This is toxic and should be avoided at all costs on your journey.

To help you going forward, consider following these 5 steps:

  1. Cleanse your inner circle from negative people
  2. Reengage or connect with those that are positive even if they don’t totally understand your vision
  3. Connect to those that are trying to achieve the same or similar goals
  4. Embrace the fact that you may have times of loneliness on your journey and accept that it’s ok
  5. Own your own vision and don’t expect anyone to lead it for you

Happy New Year!

I hope you achieve all of your goals in 2020.

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